Can cousins marry?

If we keep this question short that can cousins marry? The absolute answer is NO, but let us modify the question and ask again, "Can Cross-Cousins marry? and Voila, the answer is a big YES.

Before we open on this controversial topic, let us take example from ancient history

    Were Arjun and Subhadra cousins? If so, how was their marriage even possible?

 

Shoorasena was the father of Vasudeva and Prta (who was later named Kunti when she was given in adoption to King Kuntibhoja as he was childless). So, Vasudeva and Kunti are siblings (real brother and sister).

Vasudev and Devki gave birth to Krishna and Kunti was Arjuna's biological mother. Hence, Krishna and Arjuna are cross cousins. Since, Subhadra was Vasudeva's biological daughter which means Subhadhra and Arjuna were also cross cousins. They married happily and they gave birth to child which the whole world known as Abhimanyu. Well, this is not the only marriage that happened in Mahabharata.

v Mitravinda Fifth of the Ashtabharya & the cousin to Lord Krishna

Mitravinda is the fifth of the Ashtabharya. Devi Mitravinda is the daughter of King Jayasena of the kingdom of Avanti. Devi Mitravinda’s mother Rajadhidevi is the sister of Krishna’s father Vasudeva. Which makes Mitravinda the first cousin of Lord Krishna. Mitravinda was so virtuous that she is known as Shaibya or Shaivya in Vishnu Purana.

 

v Bhadra Seventh of the Ashtabharya & the cross cousin to Lord Krishna

To your own disbelief, let me tell you Bhadra is seventh of the Ashtabharya (the eight principal queen-consorts of Hindu god Krishna) according to the scripture Bhagavata Purana. She is also known as Kaikeyi, the princess of the Kaikeya kingdom. Bhadra was the daughter of King Dhrishtaketu and his wife Shrutakirti, the sister of Kunti and the cousin of Vasudeva (Krishna’s father) and thus Krishna’s cousin. She had a strong desire to marry Krishna and she did so unconditionally.

Here is one such transcript from Srimad Bhagavatam. Queen Bhadra speaks to Draupadi how Lord Krishna married her within the Srimad Bhagavatam. Śrī Bhadrā said- “My dear Draupadī, of his own free will my father invited his nephew Kṛiṣhṇa, to whom I had already dedicated my mind and offered me to Him as His bride. My father presented me to the Lord with an akṣauhiṇi military guard and a retinue of my female companions. My ultimate perfection is this-to always be allowed to touch Lord Kṛṣṇa’s lotus feet as I wander from life to life, bound by my karma.”

 

    Now, coming to the second part of question how was their marriage even possible?

In our Hindu’s tradition, one is allowed to marry his/her cousin if the cousin is your father's sister's child or mother's brother's child. In short you can marry your cross cousin.

Let's understand this way.

1. Whom can you marry? (Cross-Cousins)

ü  Father's sister's daughter or son - You can marry. 

ü  mother's brother's daughter or son - You can marry.

2.      Whom cannot you marry?

v  father's brother's daughter or son

Ø  You cannot marry because Marriage between children of 2 brothers are not permitted as that would be marriage within the same "family" (some may call it gothra, but gothra goes beyond the family line).

v  mother's sister's daughter or son.

Ø  You cannot marry because once a girl is married, she starts carrying the husband's family line. So, Marriage between children of 2 sisters was also not allowed as the sisters can marry into one family lineage.

Hence, the only allowed combination was between children of a brother and sister.

Krishna himself married cousins Mitravinda & Bhadra; his son Pradyumna married his cousin; and so, did his grandson Aniruddha. Marriages between cross cousins is commonly found even today in South India. I know it is rare (or never) in the North. Please remember that Vyasa claimed in a verse at the outset that “yadeehaasti tadanyatra, yannehaasti na tat kvachit” meaning what is here (in the MBh) could be found elsewhere, what is not here is nowhere else. That means Vyasa knew southern Indian marriage customs & other traditions would remain more intact with passing of time also.